Mother Mary had a theme brewing this past week. So many stories from others, including those in my own life, indicating we have a choice now, to continue to look outward and to point fingers at that which we believe steals our peace, or to look inward and discover the root of that projection. Where is it that we aren’t generating that peace for ourselves? This post is about how to embody your sovereign nature. Read the transcript while you listen »
Transcript
Good Sunday, everyone. I have an interesting topic for today.
Once again, I may have my eyes closed most of the time in order to remain sort of in this deep heart space. It’s interesting because normally I can have my eyes open and be in that space and pop in and out of that space pretty easily. but I’m finding I can be deeper in it if I’m not processing all this visual information at the same time. So we’ll see how this goes. I don’t know if that’s distracting for people who are watching. You can let me know.
I have a bullet list. I actually made a few bullets, and then I sort of stopped doing it because I don’t want my mind to be too fixated here, but there has been a theme this past week, a very obvious theme, sort of ushered in by Mother Mary. In my current Sophia Code Group, it was Mother Mary’s week this week and she didn’t waste a minute … did not waste a minute.
Last Sunday afternoon she was already at work. and the message she seemed to be bringing forward, I can’t even remember what it was. I have to actually go back to my own blog posts to see … things are happening so quickly now. These messages and these experiences and this illumination is constant. I can barely speak or write about the experience before the next one starts. And it cascades. They cascade one to the next to the next and it opens. For that reason, I apologize if I am all over the place when I attempt to share this.
I don’t remember what it was early last week where I’m like, “Oh, she is not wasting time getting right to it.” It might come to me. But what followed in the days after that, Tuesday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, all the way through last night, Saturday night, there is this theme that everyone seems to be in. They’re in experiences that are illuminating … let’s keep in mind we had a full moon yesterday. That is the word of the week, and it will be, again, for the next few days here, this continuous illumination. These experiences in our lives are illuminating, illuminating a very powerful theme that I’m seeing. And that theme is, is that we continue to look outside of ourselves and point fingers at what everybody else is doing, that’s somehow disrupting our peace.
“You can’t get your shit together.”
“You aren’t doing what I expect you to do.”
“You’re saying things that hurt me.”
The simplest way to say this is, we continue to look outside of ourselves and point fingers at what we think is making us unhappy. We point our fingers at what we think is disturbing our peace.
“You’re doing this to me.”
“You’re not seeing the big picture.”
“You’re failing to do something.”
If you’ve… I’m almost… I’m laughing because I’m hearing myself say… If you’ve had the luxury of hearing some of my rants… And I’ll let you be the judge of the word luxury. If you’ve heard me rant… about this kind of thing in the past. You know I will never agree. I will never tell you what you want to hear, that yes, it’s these people outside of yourself who are disturbing your peace. I will never say that. These experiences that we have, are always about us and no one else. If you are able to embrace that, you will move through these challenges with ease. Don’t let your mind or ego entertain, ever, that these things are about anyone else. They are not.
We can go down the whole orchestration, soul agreement trajectory. I’m not going to. But for those of you who understand, let’s just remember, you make agreements with all of these people to create these events and these experiences in your life that produce this illumination, if you will. And we have been conditioned to look at events outside of ourselves and to say,
“You, you, you … you’re doing it wrong.”
“You don’t get it! Therefore, you’re making me uncomfortable. You’re making me unhappy.”
You’re not. You’re, okay. The theme this week has illuminated this scenario to such a degree, I’m compelled to talk about this today. I’m not going to give you the sympathetic friend dissertation here. I’m going to give you the perspective, an alternate perspective perhaps, you have not entertained.
We give our power away when we do this.
“You’re making me unhappy.”
“You’re doing things that are disturbing my peace.”
I’m not going to give my power away to anyone by saying that. When I look through my eyes and I see events in my life that are upsetting or disturbing, I ask myself,
“What am I failing to see within?”
“What am I not doing for myself that is leaving me disturbed?”
“What am I doing that is disturbing my own peace?”
It is not about anyone else in my life. I take responsibility for that. I will not give my power to the illusion that is projected from me.
These things, while challenging, I find, are pretty easy to overcome because I believe that is how you do it. I am the only one here having this experience. I may have asked you to co-create it with me … you may be playing a part, but you are not the root of my disturbance, of my lack of peace. You are not the root of my unhappiness. No one out there, no ideology, nothing is the root of my security, safety, self-perception.
No one.
So this theme this week has been about this … so much disturbance of peace.
In my Sophia Code Group this morning, we had an amazing conversation sort of about this. Part of what Mother Mary was saying to me early in the week was about bringing my light back. This, in retrospect now, is how I’m sort of understanding it. I’m sure on a soul level, it is amazingly grand. When it comes to the human who has to give words to something that’s happening at this greater level, it’s almost an injustice how our language and our ability to use those words, it cannot do it justice.
But the best I could muster this week, and it’s not bad, so bear with me, and these friends of mine in this group, in this conversation this morning, they helped me refine what I was already bringing forward. It is this process, and this is what Mother Mary was showing me all week and then all of you who shared these stories you were only making the case of what Mother Mary was bringing forward here. And I think the Divine Feminine is working with all of us to sort of illuminate this. I’m going to try to give it some words.
It is, about the reclamation of your light.
Reclaim – thank you to the friend of mine who gave me a better word. You could say you are recollecting … re-collecting your light. You are bringing it back to you now. Let me explain why you don’t have it, and understand, I’m sort of thinking out loud when I say this. I am not speaking as an authority here. I’m not telling you how it is for you. I am attempting to express an experience I’ve had this week that is the awareness, and this is more like a two-week thing for me. It’s still … if you saw my video on self-loathing, if you read that transcript, it started back there almost three weeks ago now. It’s been a process for me, this reclaiming my light. I now understand what’s happening.
I am collecting it back.
Why is it not within me?
Well, I have been giving it away. There are a number of reasons why my light was not 100% within me. I explained in that previous video that I was giving it away in order to avoid seeing the problem that I was dealing with. Now you could use the symbology here, that I did not want that light within me because if that light is concentrated 100% within me, I’m going to see that problem. I did not want to see that problem. I was aware of it. I explained this. I was aware of it on an unconscious level, and I knew, semi-consciously, that if I brought all my light back to me and me alone, I would see that thing. And I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to deal with it. Now, enough light had come back. And the situations, the events that unfolded allowed me to see it, made me see it, you might say. I took my head and I forced myself to look at it.
And it was resolved.
It got done.
But it illuminated this bigger process that’s happening, that now all of this light needs to come back. This coping mechanism of giving it away, distracting myself constantly by giving this light. I’d just give it, I’d be like, “Here, here, here, have this light.” A lot of people didn’t even ask for it. I’d just be like, “Take this light, take this light! Let me continually give you this light!” Because I don’t want to see this thing in me. Self-loathing.
Now I started to reclaim all that. I’m not sure reclaim is the perfect word either. I’m calling it back. I no longer need to do that. I am not afraid to see anymore, the totality of that, which I am. Boy there are many things you can say about this … I’m just thinking about the whole religious aspect of religion, telling you to push all your light out everywhere else. Give it to everyone. Give it to an ideology. Give it away. Do not have it within you.
Now, religions do that for a different reason. They don’t want you to realize you are your own divinity. You do not need a religion at all. You are it. You are the entire thing. You are the divine expressing through your humanness. Religions have no power – no one has power – when you understand that about yourself. That’s what sovereignty means.
There are other organizations that do it for different reasons. They want you to constantly be giving to everyone else. They shame you for not being, not giving enough, not whatever enough. You are not doing this enough. They shame you into diminishing yourself, giving that away. Why? They don’t want you to see that you are the whole package. You are divinity.
So the theme, the theme has been all of these events that are causing us to see what’s supposedly stealing our peace, taking our sense of groundedness. We unconsciously point fingers and say, it’s all these things outside of, no, I’m taking it farther. That’s the theme. This is the theme we’re all experiencing. But what are you going to see? The full moon is illuminating this. Are you going to just stop and point fingers and say,
“All y’all … you’ve stolen my peace again!”
Or are you going to take advantage of the opportunity here to realize by doing that, you are once again giving away this light. You are giving it to an external authority. You are allowing things outside of yourself to take that.
Now, what happens when your light is out there and not in here? How are you walking around in your life without your light? There’s a side tangent to all this too that came up in this conversation this morning with my Sophia Code group. At least the three of us who were in this conversation all had the same experience in childhood. And I know for a fact many of my, especially women friends in greater circles, experienced this, where people in their lives, first their parents and their siblings and then their friends and then their co-workers and their bosses, eventually their spouses, their children, their greater community at large, told them,
“You are too much.”
“You think too much of yourself.”
“You think you’re better than we are.”
I literally said in that conversation, as I was sort of describing this, I’m like, and,
“I hadn’t even said anything yet!”
I walked into the room and someone thought, “Well, you think you’re better than us.”
Why do you think that is?
Every single person who’s had that experience, all of you, when you were little, when you were crushed, back down, when your light was criticized and judged for being too much…
“Tone it down.”
“Dim that light.”
“Get into the box.”
“Dim your light. If you don’t dim it, I’m going to take it from you.”
That’s what constant judgment … people who are constantly picking and poking at you … that’s what they’re doing. Dim that light, dim that light … because if you continue to shine that, I’m going to realize I am not doing that for myself … and I’m not strong enough to stand up to the policing that everyone else is doing as well. So I’m going to be [the light] police as well. I’m going to police you. Don’t do that. I do not want to see what I am doing to myself. This is what people would do if your light was too bright.
So coming back to the main tangent here, that’s what these moments right now are about. It is this reclamation, recollection, recollecting, reclaiming [of your light]. I originally used the word retracting. I am recalling all of my light that I dimmed for the people who couldn’t hack it, who criticized and judged, who continue to project upon me, their own refusal to claim their light.
I understand how this works, so I do not judge anyone for judging me. I understand why they do it. I understand when people get angry. There have been people these past couple of weeks who have been angry with me because I returned to myself. I stopped giving all of that light away. I am no longer afraid to see my own divinity, and in recalling that light, suddenly they don’t have it.
Now, I’m not saying that’s why you do it, but that is a form of codependency. I don’t want to enable that. I was enabling that. I was acting as an external authority for a lot of people. Now I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to listen to others, to be supportive of others who need it, that’s not what I’m saying. I will continue to do that. I love to do that. I love, love when people take a chance and say, I want to work through this. I need to express this. I need to hear myself say these words to express how I’m feeling. We often need someone to receive it. I will be that receiver. I’m just not going to do it, to hide from myself. That’s the difference. And it will seem to a lot of people as though I’ve stopped doing it.
I don’t have endless hours out of my day to do that anymore. I’m not running from something. I’m not running anymore. I’m reclaiming my light.
Hold on, I got to turn off my notifications. The universe is resonating.
Okay. So we’re collectively … this is the theme right now. So as you begin this process of reclaiming your light and realizing why you were giving it away, maybe some of you were doing it for the same kind of reason I was. If you’re failing to see a coping mechanism at work, you’re probably giving away all your light because, to have it all within you, you’re going to see that thing … I used the word dread … that’s how it felt to me.
As I go through this reclamation process, it is It’s tremendous. This process has begun, this blending of humanity and divinity. It has begun because I saw those things that were still in the way. I removed them. I dissolved them. I had help. I asked for help. And now I understand. The one sole thing, at least for right now, that is preventing further expansion, we’ll say, is the fact that my light had been scattered everywhere.
“I don’t want to see what’s inside … scatter, scatter.”
You’re probably doing that. Some of you are probably doing that. If you’ve listened this far, you might be doing that.
What is it you’re not wanting to see?
Full moon, illumination.
Your light out there … what happens if you bring it all back?
If that thought, If the thought of doing that Is threatening or scary or is dreadful, it might be something you don’t want to see.
Now that I have begun this process, I finally understand. I feel the meaning of sovereignty. This is what it is. Nothing, nothing can touch me now, no judgments, no provocation, no attempts to dim this light, no one can say anything. I have it. I have reclaimed it. I know now, its value. That’s why so many want you to scatter it everywhere. It is extremely valuable. If you possess it, they will never succeed with that tactic again.
That is what sovereignty means.
This is what sovereignty feels like.
I will not give it away.
Those who are angry with me, I actually prayed love with Mother Mary last night about that. The only thing you can do is stand in that light now. When you possess it, there is an immense peace. There’s an immense peace because you realize that’s where your safety, your security, your sense of peace always was. And you scattered it everywhere. I scattered it everywhere. I was told,
“You’re too this.”
“You’re to that.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“You think you’re better.”
That could never have been farther from the truth. And when I scattered it, when I believed them, those who tried to impress this upon me, well, I only confirmed their suspicions. When you believe them and say, “Well, maybe you’re right, okay, I’ll dim my light,” you’re basically pleading guilty.
I don’t want to go down that tangent. Do you get what I mean?
Now, in our conversation this morning in The Sophia Code group, when I got to this point, there was sort of a question about, or there was a bit of clarity that needed to be spoken around, well, what are you doing with that light? Because, well, if you’re not sharing it with others, what’s the benefit? That wasn’t what I was meaning. This is not what I’m meaning. I’m not saying recollect your light to prevent others from having it. Quite the contrary. When you collect it, you re-achieve, you regain your peace. You regain the safety and security. I don’t know how else to explain this. It just happens. You will have it. And when you have that, you open your heart to such a degree … you can now, because you know nothing out there ever was a threat to you. It’s only because you believed it was. It’s only because you allowed others to convince you it was. That is not true.
I’m going to lose my tangent. You recoup this sense of security and safety. You open your heart. Yes.
Am I hoarding this light?
No.
No.
Now, now I can walk around in my life and be an example of how this looks, of how you do it. Yes, there will be those who will see this and say,
“You’re selfish. You are doing what is not allowed.”
“You do not deserve that kind of peace.”
“You do not deserve that kind of security.”
“None of the rest of us have it.”
Do you see the irony here?
As someone of tremendous logic … I am a sun sign Aquarian with Mercury in Aquarius … in the Virgo house. My Mercury’s in the Virgo house. The logic is ridiculous. These folks do not understand the illogic that they are living. When we all, we all have this right, it is our birthright, to possess all of our light, of our essence. We’ve been taught to scatter it, to diminish our power.
Why?
Because a humanity that is empowered will answer to no one, to no power that wants to siphon from them. That’s why they teach us those things and they teach us to police it in others.
So, yes, you will reclaim your light and then be very aware, whether they’re standing in front of you or not, you will be aware of those who will grow angry for you having done it. They will judge you. They will criticize you. Now, if you do this well enough and you allow that heart space to open, if you get good at this, you will walk around in your life with a bubble of love frequency so powerful that those who would be judges, they may not even have the chance to do it. They may have an experience of you in that moment that changes their perspective. They may see very clearly what I’m describing, this logic. That is what we are all destined … I hesitate to use the word destined, but in a sense it fits here. Every human is destined to reclaim their light. This is part of the human process. It is part of the ascension process. So by you doing it, you become the example.
Now, you can’t go around telling people, hey, this is the way. It was your way. And the way you achieved it will be different than the way anybody else does. But to become a living, breathing example of that peace, of that safety and security for yourself, that is what everyone wants too. They may judge at first, but they cannot deny what they’re feeling. They will know. They fell for the lie and they became the police for the lie. They will know it. They will know it. Allow them to have that experience. That acknowledgement, that maybe they had been seeing this in a way that was unproductive … you will give everyone an opportunity to choose this for themselves by doing it first.
I just realized I’m not laughing a lot. I’m ranting. [laughing] I’ve become aware that my laughing has value. And I made a comment to a friend of mine this week that I’m going to start charging. If you want me to send you a text, a voice message where I’m laughing a lot, there’s going to be a price for that now. I know my own worth. [more laughing]
Okay. I think I’ve made my point. If you are a friend of mine, please do not think my personal process is about you. Yes I’ve withdrawn, but only because I realized why I needed to. It has not been about anyone outside of myself. If you’ve felt me withdraw, it’s not about you at all. Believe me. I’m sort of like deer in the headlights. I’m realizing what I had been doing all of my life. I listened to these people who said, “Stop being how you are,” trying to crush this light. Some of you are very powerful light bearers, and your experience will have been crushing in this respect too.
When you begin, when you stop with the external, stop looking at the external, and you say,
“I’m done with that; I’m going to reclaim my light; it is coming all back to me now,”
There will be those who feel you do that. We are like a drug for each other. And when you stop giving the drug to people, they will notice.
It’s okay.
That’s what Mother Mary is highlighting.
That’s what she highlighted this week for me.
We are not only being enablers for others, but we are completely failing to see what we’re not doing for ourselves.
Okay.
Amen.
Oh, Lordy, it’s 50 minutes. I can’t do a short video to save my life. Believe me, I’ll work on this. But I hope, I hope, I hope this reaches somebody who needs to hear this. I hope that you guys share this with people who need to hear this.
I don’t have to be the one delivering this message. I don’t know. I am. I am. And I don’t know. Maybe I deliver it in a way that a certain number of people out there need to hear. If you hear this and you think you know there are other people who need to hear it in the way that I deliver it, share it with them.
Please. Please take a moment to hit the thumbs up. on the YouTube video. I’ve got to remember to do this in the beginning. Hit the thumbs up. Do it right now.
I’ll wait.
…
…
…
Okay. Thank you.
I don’t care if this channel grows or doesn’t grow. I know that if I make the video, that the powers that be, will get it in front of the faces of the people who need to hear it. This is what we do for each other. There may only be three people on this planet that I will ever speak to. I don’t know who they are. Who knows where they live?
Doesn’t matter.
But I’m the message bearer for those three, and I’m doing my piece. Mother Mary’s going to do the rest of the work. Kuan Yin will do the rest of the work. Hathor is doing her piece.
This message is coming, you guys. It’s coming. There’s so much I haven’t even said. I haven’t even said. I’m going to have to start making videos every day just describing what I’m experiencing in order to get these, I don’t know, just to get this information out there for the three people who need to hear it from me. It’s happening fast. I can’t write it fast enough.
All of my information will be posted on my website. It is SuzanneBoben.com, firstname, lastname, dot com. If you want content the minute I post it, subscribe to my website. In the sidebar, there’s a subscription thing. Put your email address in there. Hit the subscribe button. You’ll get notifications in your inbox. You can follow me on social media channels, but I’m not going to live there. I’m not going to read your comments there. I will read your comments on my website. I will engage with you on my website. That is where I will live.
So if you’re one of those three people who wants to hear this kind of thing in the way that I can deliver it, okay, it is a pleasure to meet you. Leave me a message so I know where you are. I love the mystery of not knowing who you are. I love the mystery. I love, love that I can just express this light. And now that I have it all, it is extremely powerful. It’s powerful.
I have achieved sovereignty. I’ve done it. I’ve done it. And I love knowing that somehow these words are going to reach people somewhere on this planet and that I’ll never know who they are. I’ll never know. I’ll never know. But it’s amazing to think that lives will change because of it. Because I had the courage to do what everything outside of me is telling me not to do.
I did it.
And I hope you will too.
All right.
All the love.
Until next time.
Take care.
