Suzanne Boben

Mmmm … you get to a point where you know you’ve slipped through the gate. Sheer, intuitive propulsion blazes a path before you, and leaves no trace of your footsteps behind. You look back momentarily, but slip through the gate, knowing no map to this point, will ever exist. Continue »

I know at some point, people are going to start asking me, “How did you do it?”

Believe me, I’m already anticipating this and trying to find the language. There’s a reason there’s no instruction manual. I should say, there are many reasons. One of them is that, the path only unfolds once a brilliant love, full of beautiful color explodes within you. There’s a reason all of my images are a rainbow of vibrant color. This comment, itself, is one of those waypoints that leave people in a quandary. I know. Believe me, I’ve come to so many waypoints set by others. They’re all dreamy, ethereal metaphors that point the way. The problem is, if your heart is not wide open and bursting at the seams, those waypoints aren’t going to make much sense. That’s by design. Your heart must be open. Love must become your language. The waypoints are written in that language and only an open heart can read it. This is how The Way hides in plain sight.

Isis, Osiris, and The Horus

Yesterday morning I experienced, or began to experience, what some call The Hieros Gamos, and what Isis describes in her Sophia Code chapter as, the emergence of The Horus, an overlighting angelic presence that arises when your inner polarities unify through tantric practice. Because The Hieros Gamos has been described in many ways by many cultures, I asked ChatGPT to give me an overview from the Buddhist perspective. Here’s what it said.

“If I translate hieros gamos (“sacred marriage”) into a Buddhist frame, I’d describe it less as a metaphysical wedding between two cosmic beings and more as a skillful-symbolic way of talking about integration: the meeting of apparent opposites, inside experience, until they’re known as not-two.”

I’m not sure other peoples’ words help here. Everyone tries to describe it. I can only tell you what I experienced, and that is this. When I awoke yesterday, I was careful not to slip out of that place between sleeping and wide awake. As is usually the case, a song was playing in my awareness, Alanis Morissette’s, Missing The Miracle. That could not have been more apropos, as the song is about polarities and the astounding lack of awareness that the miracle lies, not in one or the other, but in the union of the two.

That particular song was again, not coincidentally, a prominent fixture during other parts of my life. It prompted me to begin a course of rhythmic breathing (Moola Bandha), to harness and circulate my kundalini energy. Thinking back to that moment … I wasn’t thinking, or processing. I was just feeling the gloriousness of that space.

At some point, I became aware of another presence in the process. It just sort of blended in to the experience, but it was distinct, an unbelievable presence of love, and when I focused my attention upon it, I found that it was I. I was the presence. I recorded myself retelling this story for a few others in my Sophia Code group. I said, “This is what they mean, that you must fall in love with yourself!” I was completely and utterly enamored. I continued my breathing and danced in harmony with this aspect until I got out of bed. When I finally made my way downstairs, I passed my altar where statues of all the mentors sit. I just began laughing as I do, and I didn’t stop for 15 minutes. Beautiful.

Union with The Divine Lover

Beginners luck … I was worried, that stumbling naively, into that experience, was a one-time deal. Once your ego/mind gets involved, you can forget about repeating experiences like that. The heart flows resonantly into heart-based experiences. No thinking. Just return into the heart. So this morning I began the same process … Moola Bandha, breathing kundalini up into my entire body until the presence was again apparent. I bucked the mind’s desire to reproduce the same experience and just focused on the ecstasy of the moment.

The presence did return, but this time it was less distinct and more integrated. I became aware of the swirling nature of the energy, a swirling dance of blending and merging. It struck me, for all those out there who deeply understand what I mean when I say “the desire to merge,” it struck me that this is what we’re remembering — literally, re-membering, unifying. It must be a memory, and lord knows, none of us are raised in mystery schools or educated about the actual process of embodying our divinity. Of course we’d assume this is something you attempt with another human. It’s not. It is this process of inner unity we remember, and desire to complete.

Where do I go from here? Can’t say. No plans. I suspect, as always, that this is another milestone along The Way, a point of integration that must complete before moving on. This experience is reiterating just how important it is to walk forward from the heart. Seems my heart always pulls me into the best experiences so that’s the plan. Onward.